Sports are as much a mental game as they are physical. For youth athletes, developing mental resilience can be the difference between persevering through challenges or giving up at the first sign of failure. One of the most powerful tools to build this mental resilience is fostering a growth mindset—the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. Here’s how parents can cultivate a growth mindset in their young athletes.
1. Praise Effort, Not Talent
When parents focus on effort rather than innate talent, children learn to value hard work and perseverance, building their mental resilience. “Reward the behaviour you want to see” is a mantra we should all have.
Want to see your child work harder and concentrate for longer? Then recognise it and encourage them in that. “I saw how hard you applied yourself in that second half – that was great.” In contrast, focussing on “talent” actually creates athletes who have to protect that “talented” status, meaning when something goes wrong all sorts of excuses will come out about how it was someone else’s fault or failure – because they have to protect the identity of being talented.
- Example: Instead of saying, “You’re so talented at football,” try, “I’m proud of how hard you’ve been practicing your dribbling skills.”
2. Normalize Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
A key part to building mental resilience is realising mistakes are an inevitable part of growth, especially in sports. In fact if athletes aren’t making any mistakes, they are probably operating inside their comfort zone and not really developing new skills, strategies or tactics.
Understanding that mistakes provide valuable learning opportunities – so frame them that way and don’t waste them! Feeling disappointed and upset is totally normal, but once those emotions have been processed prompt your child to think, “How can we use this experience to improve?”
- Tip for Parents: Encourage your child to view setbacks as lessons. After a tough game, ask, “What’s one thing you learned today that will help you next time?”
3. Set Process-Oriented Goals
Outcome goals, like winning a championship, can create pressure. Instead, focus on goals related to effort and improvement. Take a big outcome goal such as improving passing accuracy and ask “What does working on that goal look like this month, this week, today?” That will help break down the big goal into smaller process chunks.
For Example, the big goal might be to improve passing accuracy from 60 to 80%, but the process goal could be “Practicing 50 passes off both right and left sides 3 times per week.” Now we have the action within our own control to take to bridge the gap to the goal. This can help increase mental resilience as there is an element of autonomy for the child.
- Example: Help your child set process goals like practicing their acceleration drills 3 times per week time by half a second or working on their shooting for 15 minutes daily.
4. Model mental Resilience Yourself
Children often mimic their parents’ behaviors and attitudes. Show them how you handle challenges and setbacks. Children don’t always listen to what we say, but they are always watching what we do! If you want a resilient child then don’t blame the referee or the opposition! Demonstrate what mental resilience in the face of challenges looks like!
- Tip for Parents: Share stories of times you’ve faced adversity and how you overcame it. Your example will inspire their resilience.
5. Teach the Power of “Yet”
Adding the word “yet” to a negative statement can shift it from fixed to growth-focused. “I’m not a first team player yet” has a very different ring to it compared to “I’m not a first team player.” One sounds hopeful while the other sounds definitive. Remember as human beings we are not fixed entities, we are always capable of evolving and changing! Yet, gives us that power!
- Example: If your child says, “I can’t do this,” remind them to say, “I can’t do this yet.”
6. Celebrate Small Wins
Recognizing incremental progress helps reinforce the value of consistent effort, building mental resilience. It’s nice when we make huge leaps forward but they happen very rarely. In contrast it’s the little daily wins that stack up over time to help us progress! We can get discouraged if we don’t think our efforts are making a difference, by celebrating small wins we can keep the momentum and motivation going to the big goals!
- Tip for Parents: Celebrate achievements like mastering a new technique or adding 1 rep or 1kg to an exercise, even if they’re just small steps toward a bigger goal.
Building mental resilience takes time, but the rewards extend far beyond the sports field. By nurturing a growth mindset, you’ll empower your young athlete to embrace challenges, persist through adversity, and unlock their full potential.
Wishing you and your child all the success in building mental resilience in the season ahead!
Rob Anderson
